As we grow into our adult selves, one day or another you’ll be approached with “the question”. The question that is asked only by those who have them. The question that your grandparents ask you every year at the family reunion. See where I’m going with this?
“When are you going to have kids?”
Yesssss….THAT one particular question that gets a blank stare from me every time. A blank stare followed by a “when I’m ready” response. I’m in my mid-twenties right now and happily living kid-free. So, if I haven’t spawned a seed by now, don’t you think I would fall into the “I’m waiting” category. Because let’s face it, the majority of the people my age with children by now didn’t have them on purpose. Name one young adult who was physically, mentally, AND financially equipped to start a family? When I say young adult, I’m talking ages 15-22. Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you to come up with an answer.
There is so much that goes into raising an infant, it definitely takes two, maybe three, or four, AND the grace of God. Money, time, and not to mention sleep. I’m in a selfish stage of my life and I have no shame in wanting to keep it that way for a while until I’m physically, mentally, financially ready.
First, I’m just not ready. Hell, I cringe at thinking about buying a $30 bag of dog food every two weeks; so diapers, wipes and baby food are definitely out of the question at this time lol. Like I said, I’m selfish right now. I want to be able to buy a pair of $235 pair of shoes, drive a sports coupe for a couple years, fly to France on a random weekend, or buy a $1,600 Beyonce concert ticket! Am I wrong? I think not.
Secondly, I’d rather not get sucked into the struggle; and don’t look at the screen like there’s no struggle involved being young and raising a kid. Medicaid, food stamps, section 8 vouchers and, all the other possible ways to take advantage of the government, are fine and dandy temporarily. However, I don’t plan on making it a life style.
*Now, I’m not putting those people down who get help from government programs. I am simply saying that I don’t want that for my life.
Why? BECAUSE ITS A TRAP!
photo cred: http://www.thekazushi.com
Well maybe that headline was a little strong, but I will certainly say that I’ve thought about it jokingly.
These kind of questions come about when someone, like me, has hit a wall. A wall that can some days seem inpenetratable. I’m talking about breaking into a career. Not just any career, but the career that you set yourself up for. With a college degree and real life experience in the bag, you’d think nailing a job after a couple internships would be a no brainier right?
I’ve come to learn that it’s not just that simple. But why? Why isn’t it THAT simple? I mean, c’mon. We work our butts off in college and prep for internships TO get the degree TO build the resume TO GET THE JOB! That’s what’s frustrating to a young person in a position like this.
Getting turned down two or three times isn’t going to do much damage. But when months turn into years of constant “we regret to inform you” messages, it really hurts. It’s like the world telling you that what you worked your ass off for is not enough. Your degree is not enough, your experience is not enough.
*Let me say something about “not having enough experience”. Well, if I don’t have enough experience, tell me where the hell am I going to get that experience if no one is willing to give me a chance?! If you have the answer, DO SHARE!
When too much time passes, frustrations are high and contemplations get to brewing.
What am I doing wrong? Did I lose my edge? Should I go back to school? Maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to do. Should I change career paths?
All these questions arise, self esteem decreases, and out of desperation, young professionals start running out of options. But…The motto I’m trying to live by now is:
“When opportunity doesn’t knock, build your own f*cking door.”