Seriously, why is it taboo to bring up our past relationships, especially in conversations with new interests?
At one point, we mature enough to push past through that eye-rolling, teeth-sucking, “he who shall not be named” phase to be at peace with things of our past. Well, I suppose “maturity” is one of the key elements for this whole idea to work. Mature or not though, there’s no denying that a few positive things can come from our reflections.
Live & Learn
This saying is way cliche, but it’s the most important to remember when thinking of your past, present, and future. Life is about taking reasonable risks, testing the waters, and being bold. Every opportunity is a learning opportunity to take with you. So, date that person, go out that night, slide in her DMs, step outside your safe place every once in a while to learn what makes you uncomfortable. The deeper you’re able to understand yourself, the more prepared you’ll be for your next relationship and can communicate that effectively.
Ah, speaking of understanding yourself…
It’s important to recognize certain personal qualities AND REMEMBER THEM!
- What is your patience level?
- What are your deal-breakers?
- Are you biased?
- Are you open-minded?
- What won’t you tolerate?
- What mental qualities are you attracted to?
- How deeply do you care about Religion?
- What physical traits do you admire from the opposite sex?
- How important is family in your life?
Just a shortlist of questions that we should familiarize ourselves with when looking for more serious relationships, because it all matters. As previously mentioned, know thy self before knowing anyone else!
Just keep in mind that everyone is different. Newbies deserve a clean slate despite your biases or preconceived notions. Comparing your new to your old is inconsiderate, tacky, and will make you look bad at the end of the day.
It’s like wearing one old sneaker and one new sneaker at the same time, it’s not cute. (I tried to go somewhere with that analogy, but I feel I didn’t get anywhere lol)
Moving Forward: It’s Ok to be Picky
Obviously, you can’t be too picky, because you’ll never find someone “worth” settling down with. It’s ok if your new interest doesn’t check off all the boxes, but make sure they get pretty damn close 😉
Your happiness matters.
Written by Jannah B
image credit: unsplash.com and GQ.com