marriage | Boldly Curated Media

Seriously, why is it taboo to bring up our past relationships, especially in conversations with new interests?

At one point, we mature enough to push past through that eye-rolling, teeth-sucking, “he who shall not be named” phase to be at peace with things of our past. Well, I suppose “maturity” is one of the key elements for this whole idea to work. Mature or not though, there’s no denying that a few positive things can come from our reflections.

Live & Learn

This saying is way cliche, but it’s the most important to remember when thinking of your past, present, and future. Life is about taking reasonable risks, testing the waters, and being bold. Every opportunity is a learning opportunity to take with you. So, date that person, go out that night, slide in her DMs, step outside your safe place every once in a while to learn what makes you uncomfortable. The deeper you’re able to understand yourself, the more prepared you’ll be for your next relationship and can communicate that effectively.

Self Recognition

Ah, speaking of understanding yourself…
It’s important to recognize certain personal qualities AND REMEMBER THEM!

What is your patience level?
What are your deal-breakers?
Are you biased?
Are you open-minded?
What won’t you tolerate?
What mental qualities are you attracted to?
How deeply do you care about Religion?
What physical traits do you admire from the opposite sex?
How important is family in your life?

Just a shortlist of questions that we should familiarize ourselves with when looking for more serious relationships, because it all matters. As previously mentioned, know thy self before knowing anyone else!

Don’t Compare!

Just keep in mind that everyone is different. Newbies deserve a clean slate despite your biases or preconceived notions. Comparing your new to your old is inconsiderate, tacky, and will make you look bad at the end of the day.

It’s like wearing one old sneaker and one new sneaker at the same time, it’s not cute. (I tried to go somewhere with that analogy, but I feel I didn’t get anywhere lol)

Moving Forward: It’s Ok to be Picky

Obviously, you can’t be too picky, because you’ll never find someone “worth” settling down with. It’s ok if your new interest doesn’t check off all the boxes, but make sure they get pretty damn close 😉
Your happiness matters.

Written by Jannah B
image credit: unsplash.com and GQ.com

I hate to admit it sometimes, but sure, I’m a millennial. I fall into that group of young people born in the heavily technically influenced world that we are in today. So because of that, we develop new ways to old habits.

Insecurity

Let’s discuss.

Probably one of the most recognizably practiced characteristic of insecurity in millennial relationships are cell phone related. We live our lives through our mobile devices. This I cannot deny! It’s how we communicate. So, when it comes down to our relationships with others, our phones are the first source for information. But, why when we get hit with the,

“Let me see your phone…”

…we freeze and feel offended? An invasion of privacy? Got something to hide? Maybe you find yourself in a mixture of both. Either way, the question comes from the other party feeling insecure. Insecure that there possibly be a chance that something is going on that you are unaware of. Fear of the unknown. Fear of deception. Doubt will always be something in the back our minds, it’s human nature. But, we as humans have the mental ability to forcibly overcome those fears. It takes something called Trust. Easier said than done, of course.

Give someone you trust until they give reason to not have your trust; not a thought, a feeling, or an inkling. If you wonder what your significant other is up to, simply ask. Use your ability to inquire. If you’re told that nothing is to be revealed, let it be just that. Trust. That other person should respect you and the relationship enough not to have anything fishy going on behind those closed doors. See, respect is a big deal in any relationship. If there’s no respect established, there is nothing. Respect is foundational.

Small lesson in respect, sorry for getting off topic lol.

Anyway to sum it up, if your significant other doesn’t respect you or the relationship, there will be doubt and doubt leads to insecurity. BUT when in doubt, simply ask and take it from there.

Have the itch to look through your significant other’s phone?

Thoughts? Comments welcome.

Photo credit: Hororscope.daily-free.net